Worst Testing Conditions Ever!

In November, Elysa had to go to Richmond to take the MPRE- the national ethics exam for attorneys. The scores ranges from 50 to 150, with 100 being the mean of all exam takers. In most states the hurdle you have to clear is around 75, so the standard is pretty low. But that doesn't mean you can waltz in there and take it with your eyes closed, one hand tied behind your back.

In the UVA Law Weekly (The Law School student paper), we read about an example of one person's misperception of the average MPRE test question:

While at the local strip club, Larry Lawyer kills Clarence Client while drunk and hazed on Angel Dust. This behavior can best be described as...

A) Good
B) Bad
C) None of the Above
D) Fraggle Rock

The actually test is very technical in procedural rules. So you do need to study.

We drove to Richmond the night before, spent the night and got Elysa to the testing site by 8:00 AM. We should have know things were bad when, a few days before, Elysa was notified that her original testing site at the Marriott Conference Center had been moved to the Comfort Inn Conference. If you didn't just groan, then either you have stayed in too many Comfort Inns or too few Marriotts.

It turns out, the ethics test was bumped because the state GOP decided to hold a last minute fund raiser that weekend before the election. Personally, if you want to know why the GOP lost the Senate, I think you can blame a few hundred law students that asked God to curse the GOP for the following experience.

Elysa was dropped off at the Comfort Inn and noticed that the lobby is freezing. Richmond, the night before, had seen the thermometer drop below 20° F. It turned out that the hotel's heat had been broken for three days. Yet, the testing officials couldn't do anything about it, so the students were taking a three-hour test in, what I can only estimate, had to be somewhere around 50° F.

Testing officials led the students to the testing halls, where, it was discovered, there was less seating available than there were students. So they scrounged up some other chairs and crammed everyone onto the tables. Elysa had to straddle one of the table legs the entire time.

As the test began (the timed test, mind you), students pointed out that there was no visible time keeping device, something they were promised. Resigned to the fact that this was not their day, test administrators said they couldn't do anything about it.

And to top off the event, about half way into the test, in the conference hall adjoining the ad hoc testing center, "Fire for Christ" starts a 30 minute revival/prayer meeting. As you can deduce from their name, "Fire for Christ" didn't exactly choose the most reverent music to worship.

Aside from all that, Elysa received the score back from the test. She scored impressively high.

They Call Her "Killer"

That is Elysa's new nickname: Killer. She was renamed that by the Commonwealth Attorneys over in Waynesboro were she has been spending two days a week during the past semester. She is part of the prosecution clinic at UVA Law, a class that farms out students to the state and federal prosecuting offices in the area. And she has had some amazing experiences.

The vast majority of the class is to actually be trying real cases for the duration of the school year. She is handling cases in general district court as well as the Juvenile and Family Court, from DWIs to Assault and Battery, Drug Possession and Distribution to Sexual Predators.

From what I can gather, Elysa got the name for a couple of reasons. First, she cowboy'ed up and went with a few of the officers to the new shooting range and unloaded a few clips. I wish I had been there to see it, but she fired a Glock, a Tommy Gun, an automatic Shotgun and a M-4 rifle. I think she wants an NRA membership for Christmas.

The other reason they call her killer is that she is sharp in court and is putting away the bad guys (and gals) left and right. She has even turned on a few witnesses for committing perjury. I guess they didn't call her "Shark" because James Woods and CBS might have a trademark on the title.

Still, you don't mess with "Killer." I could have told them that after 3 1/2 years of marriage.

"I Am My Ideal" -Miles Glorious

Sorry it has been a while since we have up dated this. Let’s see if we can get you caught up.

In August, before we moved back to Charlottesville, Lake began commuting down from DC to start attending rehearsals for “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.” There was an allusion or two to it in the last posting (see if you can find it!).

Rehearsals were held for eight weeks before opening for a 3-week, 10-show run.

Lake was cast as the pompous and vain Roman Captain, Miles Glorious. Some might say he was type-cast; Lake responds by citing his incredible good looks can sometimes be a curse. Sigh.

Two awards were won by the supporting cast. First, the “Most Performances Attended by a Spouse” award went to Elysa M. Dishman, who, of the ten performances (plus a preview night) saw seven of them. For opening night’s curtain call, she held up a bright neon yellow sign that read, “I ♥ Miles.” The second award went to Paul and Beth Lynn Dishman of Provo, Utah, winning the “Most Distance Traveled to See a Performance” Award. Actually, the Dishmans tied with themselves as they saw two shows.

Settling Back in Charlottesville

Well, it has been a crazy six weeks since we returned from our summer fling in DC.

Dishmania in Dallas

Right before we left, Elysa and I made a quick trip down to Dallas to celebrate my grandmother’s 80^th birthday. It was so quick that with an unexpected five hour delay and an additional flight cancellation, we actually spent more time traveling than we did awake in Dallas! Delta received a nasty letter after our bags were lost for two days after repeated assurances that our bags were mere hours away from delivery. Delta, you are on notice!

Despite difficult disservices, Delta didn’t damper Dallas’ diversions (Very good! Can you say, “Titus the tailor told ten tall tales to Titania the titmouse?”). After spending the morning with Eldie and Sam, we spent part of the afternoon shopping and part with catching up with my Aunt Kessa (Her real name is Jessica, but you try saying “Jessica” when you are two years old. It stuck.) and her family.

The highlight of the event was our celebration that evening. We went downtown to the top floors of one of the skyscrapers of the Dallas skyline to the swanky Petroleum Club, one of the most fun dining experiences in Dallas. The food, dancing and company were all exquisite! I think everyone agreed that we needed to do that more often.

Sweet Home Charlottesville

After returning from Dallas, Elysa and I packed up our trusty Ford Focus and headed back to C’ville. It turned out that while in DC we accumulated a few more items than we estimated. The high- (or low-point) of the process found Elysa sitting on a hotel baggage cart surrounded by the last load scattered on the parking garage floor while I am grumbling something about being mistaken about the relationship between packing and Hell. I thought that packing was Hell, but it turns out that, based on the temperature of the parking garage, you can actually pack in Hell. The car was almost completely full and the only way I could fit anything else in was to shut all the doors, roll down the windows and start stuffing in the gaps while slowly rolling up the windows. At that moment, Elysa said “I wish there was something I could do to help” to which I replied, “You’re not complaining and that is the best thing you could do right now!” We had a good laugh.

The Master Packer (Yes, I have self-crowned myself, but only after several amazing feats of skill and strength. If you have a problem with it, tough…. This is my blog after all) proved victorious yet again, getting everything in the car, minus one clothes drying rack that was slated for release anyway. We got in the car a short time later and drove towards our home nestled below the Blue Ridge Mountains (well, they are more like speed bumps, but don’t tell any of the locals).

We Have a New Addition to the Family...

Getting back to Charlottesville was nice. We were able to finally see old friends again. The pace is admittedly a little more relaxing (maybe a little too much!). But, upon our return, we discovered that we were going to need to breakdown and buy two things we have put off as long as possible: the internet and a second car. How we made it through these past two years without either, Elysa and I don't know. But, we now have both.

The internet was simply a decision of replacing our telephone land line and swapping it for the internet. Done. But the car took on a more complex set of decisions. And you can come to your own conclusion about what you would have done under the circumstances. My ten deacons (the 12 and 13 year olds I teach every Sunday in church) certainly did. In a lesson about decision-making skills, the ten put there heads together and came up with an entirely different solution: They recommended that we get a horse. Or a bullet bike.

After looking around at what used cars were out there, Elysa and I learned that a four year old Honda Civic with 80,000 miles was roughly $4,000 less than a brand-spanking new one. I ran the numbers and decided that with the loan we were going to get, it was too good to pass up a car that basically depreciated $1,000 a year, would be under full warranty and would have no previous owners. I called my Dad five times to talk me out of it. Each time I called, he said, “You know, I’ve been thinking more about this decision and I have come up with another reason you should get this car.” Thanks a lot.

I asked Elysa if she had talked to her parents about the decision. She said “no” and “claimed” it was because her folks were in Hawaii. But I knew the real truth. She didn’t want anything to interfere with something that she has been planning/dreaming since the day we got married: Her chance to buy a car not made by the Ford Motor Company. You see, her family owns Smith Family Auto in Spanish Fork, Utah and there are some fierce loyalties to that dealership since it has been in the family now for four generations. Which is understandable.

But when you live on the other side of the Mississippi River from Smith Family Auto, there are some things even those loyalties can’t surmount (like the Mississippi). So here was Elysa’s big chance for a big break. And she wasn’t about to blow it. I asked her if she was concerned about breaking from precedent. Ever the attorney, she stated in no uncertain terms that the precedent had already been broken when, in the summer of 2005, a one Ron Bowen, DDS purchased a used, silver Mercedes-Benz SLK320 convertible, hereafter known as “Zippy-Peppy” (a name that Elysa gave it), thus breaking from previous case law requiring members of the Bowen family to purchase from the aforementioned Smith Family Auto dealership. I guess the only requirement is that our new car had to be silver too.

So one Thursday after work, we went to the local dealership, Brown Honda, and they only had the EX version. The only differences between the middle-line model (LX) and the high-end model (EX) is a sunroof, keyless trunk entry and $2,000. We told Kim the sales guy that we weren’t interested. We went home that Thursday evening and decided to regroup Friday at lunch (mind you, the principle reason we are having to get this car is that starting Monday morning, Elysa will be driving 60 miles round trip once, twice, sometimes three times a week for her prosecution clinic). At lunch the next day we started calling dealerships and, I have to say it was the most fun I have ever had in spending that amount of money.

Each call went something like this: I asked to speak to the New Car Sales Manager. I told him/her I was interested in a new Civic LX and asked if they have any, in what colors and at what price? They quoted me some number. Then I said, “Look. I need to buy this car this afternoon. I have all of my financing in order. I am in Charlottesville, Brown Auto doesn’t have any and I need to decide which direction to drive this afternoon.” Now, these places we were calling are all at least 30 miles away, but we are calling even farther, like Richmond and Fredricksburg. The average distance from us to these dealerships had to be about 60 miles away. Anyway, all of a sudden my “drive-away” price is much lower than what they originally stated. Weird, huh?

Well, I told each of them that I had a couple of more phone calls to make and would call them right back. We got all the prices together and then started round two. “Thanks for your time, but someone told us we could have the car for a lower price.” Most of them revised their offers again. We couldn’t help but laugh.

While we were calling around, one of the last places we spoke to was Harrisonburg Honda. We asked if he had any 2006 Civic LXs. The guy on the other end said “No.” But he did have two 2007 Civic LXs that had arrived this morning. After the same schpiel, the guy quoted us the best price! Round two ended with only one person to bid lower, and then by only $300, but they were twice as far away and the car wasn’t an 07. We called Harrisonburg back and told them that we were coming to take the silver one!

As Elysa and I drove over, we described ourselves as “uncomfortably calm.” I called my dad that fifth (and last time) for him to talk me out of it. No dice. When we got to the dealership, the car was all gased and ready for a test drive. I jumped in first and noticed that it had only one mile on it! It turned out that the car had just rolled off the assembly line the prior afternoon, drove all night on the truck and got to the dealership that morning. If that is how fast ALL Hondas move, then I suggest investing in some Honda stock! Elysa took it for a spin; we signed the paperwork and came home with a new addition to the family!

Summer Adventures 2: Puerto Rico

We did one other thing during this summer of adventure. In July, Elysa and I celebrated our 3^rd Anniversary! And we decided to celebrate in style with a trip to Puerto Rico. We highly recommend it and think that we have figured out the perfect itinerary. We think there are four things you can/should do when in Puerto Rico (not including the famous and highly popular tour of the Bacardi Rum Distillery): Old San Juan, the beach, snorkeling off of Isla Culebra and/or Isla Mona, and El Yunqué (the tropical rain forest).

Old San Juan is absolutely romantic and is a taste of Europe right here in the United States. You can thank the Monroe Doctrine, Yellow Journalism and false naval intelligence on the location of the Spanish Fleet in 1898 for Puerto Rico (I guess the US has quite the history of acting on false military intelligence, huh? What did you expect… this IS a blog after all!). It was discovered during Columbus’ second voyage and instantly recognized as one of the most strategic islands of the Caribbean. One of Columbus’ crew named the island Puerto Rico (Rich Port); the guy’s name was Ponce de Leon (Yep, that Ponce de Leon: the conquistador that is fabled to have searched for the fountain of youth). Columbus, not to be out done, named the site of the future town: San Juan de Batista.

The town is located on a thin strip of cliffs that separate the large bay from the ocean and overlooks the thin channel of water connecting the two. At that point of land the Spanish built the oldest European fort in the New World: El Morro. Construction began in 1539 and was almost the perfect defensive position. The fort, which guarded the bay and thus the key to the island, only fell twice during its almost 500 years of active history: Once to the English in 1598 (The victory lasted for only six weeks as the English troops fell ill with Dysentery and abandoned the fort.) and once to the US in 1898, who believed that the Spanish Navy lay anchored in the bay (It wasn’t, it was in Havana). The US Navy bombarded the fort for four and a half hours, only to find that the garrison inside had been completely ignored by the Spanish military and was being forced to fight the US with artillery so old that some of it was older than the United States itself. The garrison quickly surrendered and the US Navy sped off to Cuba to try it’s luck there (Interesting thought by the way- Had the Spanish Navy been at port in San Juan at the time, the US military wouldn’t have had a reason to go to Cuba, thus preventing a guy named Theodore Roosevelt, a member of the US Calvary, the chance to charge up San Juan Hill (in Cuba) with his Rough Riders, and return home to the US to be elected Governor of New York later that year, a road that would lead him to the White House in just three more years.).

The fort itself is marvelous. At some points, the walls stand some 20 feet thick and rise some 100 feet in the air. It is a pretty impressive piece of work considering it was built an ocean away from any civilization at the time (But remember, there is nothing you can’t do with vision, determination and an endless supply of expendable labor). Make sure you spend an hour or so at the fort when you are in San Juan. It is very cool and provides some magnificent views of the city, the island, and the ocean.

The fort guards the city of Old San Juan and is the starting point for the walls that encompass the entire town. You can actually walk the perimeter of these walls as they are now something of a public park/greenbelt that surrounds the ancient city. Inside you’ll find a charming city of colorful buildings that line narrow streets and quaint plazas.

The place to stay in Old San Juan is El Convento Hotel. It is just a few blocks from El Morro and near the heart of Old San Juan. El Convento (Spanish for The Convento) was built in the 1600s as an old Carmelite convent (The first in the New World). You might have to splurge a bit, but the ambiance is worth every penny (at least in the off season!). It is classic Spanish architecture: a yellow stucco with white trim exterior and arched hallways, tiled floors, heavy wooden doors fill the interior. The halls lead to small terraced patios and verandas allowing you to enjoy the tropical evening breeze. Truly Romantic.

Staying at El Convento also affords you a great location in Old San Juan where you can go through the stores (from high end to curios), restaurants, and see the other sites of the New World's second oldest European settlement. Restaurants of all spectrums can be found from the ritzy Italian restaurant Il Perugino to an authentic tapas bar, El Picoteo, to the hometown pastry shop and café: La Bombonera. We ate at all three. Il Perigino is a nice atmosphere, but ostenatiously overpriced for the food and ambiance. El Picoteo was my first tapas bar experience and I really enjoyed it. Very different and fun. We recommend this place. For breakfast, definitely choose La Bombonera. It is a few blocks walk but worth the trip. The pasteries fill the store front window and are different everyday. A particular favorite was this flakey pastrey with gooey guava and powdered sugar. And the cutest old man (who speaks Boriquen more than Spanish) serves them up to you in a little box that you can take back to the hotel. That may have been our favorite place of all!

Two other little benefits of staying at El Convento are worth mentioning. First, they have an agreement with the Marriott beach resort which allows you full access to the Marriott facilities. We spend the day reading, napping, and playing at the beach which is semi-private. While not the best beach it is SAFE, which can be a major concern in Puerto Rico. It was nice to lay under the palm trees in padded hammocks and just relax. Sorry we don't have pictures as they are still on the cheap disposable camera we took to the beach.

The other benefit is that El Convento has a large fitness room complete with shower and will let you use it after you have checked out. So you can book that later flight, play most of the day and still be clean and refreshed before taking that long plane flight home.

While we were there, we had hoped to get in a little snorkeling, but unfortunately the weather was not cooperative (until the day we flew out). You can take a small airplane to an island northeast of Puerto Rico called Isla Culebra. Until recently, the US Navy used the island for live ordinance bombing practice. Needless to say, it wasn't really developed into a tourist destination. But in 2000, pressure from Puerto Rice finally convinced the US Navy to cease operations there, opening up one of the last undeveloped and untouched islands of the Caribbean. Spend a day between Flamenco Beach and its nearby companion Playa Carlos Rosario. Flamenco is for swimming and playing in the sand while Playa C.R. is for the snorkeler. It sports a mile-long reef and is said to look like the Caribbean did hundreds of years ago.

The other thing we weren't able to do (because you need to rent a car) is to go visit El Yunqué, the tropical rain forest. It is famous for the Coquí: colorful, tiny tree frogs whose call sounds like ko-KEE (hence the name). Since we didn't go, we can't say much more than you can find from Frommer's or Fodor's except that our friends, Brian and Norma Roberts, spent a few days in the rain forest and loved it. We saw some of the pictures and wished we had gone.

All in all, it was a great trip. We had a lot of fun and we are glad we did it!

What We Did On Our Summer Vacation

Well, Elysa and I had a blast this past summer. Earlier in the year, Elysa was offered a summer associate position at Baker Botts in Washington, DC. And fortunately for us, SNL Financial (my company) let me transfer to its Rosslyn office just across the Potomac from Georgetown. So for the 3rd time in our lives, we returned to live in Washington, DC.

We moved in May, leaving C'ville for the big city, finding a nice apartment in Ballston, right on the Orange Line of the METRO. If you are looking for a place in the DC area, look there and start with Ballston Place. It is right between two METRO stops and only a few blocks from one of the best rated restaurants in the DC-area: El Pollo Rico. I remembered it from the mission days and it is still the BEST chicken you can ever eat. Imagine, it is probably the only top 20 Zagat-rated restaurant that the full meal costs only $3.90 (you heard me right!)!

Elysa loved Baker Botts. She loved the work and the people she worked with. She was able to concentrate on her personal interests in law: litigation and appellate work. The highlight of her professional experience was getting to have lunch with Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg and she got to assist a partner in writing a Certiorari Petition to the US Supreme Court. If you are good when you come to visit and you ask nice, Elysa might let you hold her copy of it. Might.

On the recruiting side, Baker Botts wined and dined the Mormons as best they could (the firm did a goood job). It included Elysa going to the finest restaurants almost everyday for lunch, a trip to ESPN Zone, Lebanese Taverna, three... count 'em, three Washington Nationals games (I got to go too! They were great seats, all right behind third base. GO NATS!), a few evening parties, tickets to SPAM-A-LOT, a trip to Six Flags America and an office-wide retreat to the Chesapeake Bay Hyatt (overnight) that included an hour-long massage. Needless to say, it is going to be difficult to go back to poor, starving student mode this fall.

While in DC, we got to do somethings that during our previous visits we had never done. In June, our friends, Chris and Amber Lindsay (Chris currently works in the White House Office of Faith-based Initiatives), took us to the Kennedy Center where we watched a matinee of L'Italiana di Algeri from the Presidential Box. It was fabulous! The box was fabulous; the show was just alright! Not only the best seats in the house, but the Presidential box is also connected to a suite that includes a parlor, a coatroom and the only blast-/bulletproof bathroom we have ever seen. The door was so heavy and thick, one woman, who was also in the box with us, went in to use the bathroom during intermission and couldn't get out. We couldn't even hear her bang on the door (it was that thick). Her husband opened the door right before the show continued. It was really hard not to laugh at her.

But that wasn't the only thing the Lindsay's took us to. In July, Chris and Amber took us through the West Wing of the White House. That was really fun and memorable. Among other things, we saw the Situation Room (where the Armageddon scenarios were simulated during the Cold War), the Cabinet Room, and the Oval Office. But the highlight of the tour was actually the White House Press Room. All I can say is enjoy the photos! And yes, that is the real White House Press Room.

And what the Lindsay’s get in return you ask? We took them out to El Pollo Rico!